So this is what adulthood really is like. I wish my mom would have told me that it's not really amazing, great, exciting, yeah I am really not liking it all to much if I have to be honest. When I was in high school a few people I knew started to talk about how ready they were to graduate and be an adult. I was the one in the group who wasn't all that excited. Dont get me wrong some parts of being an adult isn't that bad.
When I was in my 20's I had a ball. I went to college, I traveled, I made a lot of connections with new people. My giant was awful I ate a lot of fast food and I gained so much weight. On (211) in the book it talks about how and your early twenties or early adulthood determines a lot of the problems you face with your health when you get older. Considering the fact that my mother died from heart disease and so did my grandmother I have made better choices as I have grown over the course of time.
I also ended up in debt. Credit cards, car loans, doctor bills. You name it I ended up with it. I was in love and thought I found the man of my dreams, however it ended with nothing but my heartbroke! See at the end of my 20's around 29 or so is when I wanted to go back and be a teenager all over again. I was sad all the time and never had any money after paying bills. I can't remember saying to my sister this thing called a adulthood is not for everybody.
Now that am in my mid 30's the magical question is when are you going to get married and have some kids. See I was ready before however I am now. They make me feel like he can come down out the sky and say will you marry me Norma. Lol. But then I get a kind of nervous because I have a few friends that are now in their forties and are divorced. Sewing operated divorce in middle adulthood (247) I can definitely relate. Yes am ready but no am not anxious. The Bible says be anxious for nothing but in due time it will come to you so I'm learning to be content.
Thanks for being so honest. For some adulthood makes them think back about how care free earlier stages of development actually are. As far as the marriage ideal. Our society definitely has created age norms and in a way so did Erickson. Intimacy vs. Isolation for many is very simple. It is the get married staged. However, happiness comes in a variety of forms and so does intimacy. Whether or not marriage occurs does not mean one could not fulfill that stage.
ReplyDeleteI was the opposite of you. I could not wait to grow up and now I wish I could go back. Life is not easy at any stage. Having the responsibility of being an adult is tough. Credit cards are given out at such a young age. It is so easy to get in debt. It is a very stressful feeling. Fast food has become something that many people eat out of convenience. It is unbelievable the price difference in a salad or other healthier options versus unhealthy choices. There are many adults in debt. Not having a lot of money could also lead to poor eating habits. You said, "adulthood is not for everybody". We all become adults even if we are not ready for the stress of an adult life. I felt Kelly McGonigal had great advice that could help adults to deal with their stress. Erickson's Intimacy Vs. Isolation stage I feel does not only deal with marriage. Being close to someone and not alone is something most people want. This could include friends and family. Marriage is a huge commitment and not something anyone should be forced into because of their age. Society has a tendency to expect certain things at certain ages. We are all so different and not everything will happen at the same time to everyone.
ReplyDeleteNorma,
ReplyDeleteI was like Kim, couldn't wait to be grown, so I wouldn't have to follow any rules. I was like I cant't wait to make my own rules. Now I hear myself soudning like my mom and grandmother when I am speaking with my son or other students at my job. Telling them you go wish you were young again, don't rush to become grown, you will have to pay bills and that's not the fun part. Speaking with my son now I just asked what do he wish he stated a grown up. I asked why, he stated you have more freedom, and you don't get discipline by your parents. I am telling as we speak that be patient and don't rush it. You are only young for a few years, adulthood is an eternity. A person have more years as and adult then as a child,or teenager. Enjoy life. He just laughed at me and say yeah I hear you mom. LOL In time I will asked this question again in 8 years, and see what he says.